i've decided to post the progress of the house remodel on a great site called renovation voyeur. i guess i felt if i was responsible to another blog host, i'd be more committed to updates on the status of our home. my head has been firmly entrenched lately in these projects of mine, and it's inspiring to me to watch what others are doing. so just go to that site and follow the "chris: denver bungalow" link if you're interested...
although i'm certainly a sports fan, i'm not normally one to bask in the glow of the accomplishments of professional athletes. i don't live and die by the games, i follow the games and teams for the entertainment value. there's something about a game - a broncos game on a crisp fall sunday afternoon takes me back to the days as a teenager when i'd listen to the game on am radio with my brothers while tossing the football around, and an matinee baseball game turns my mind to the days i worked on my grandparents farm in north dakota... driving the tractor on the hot prairie and listening to twins games. there's a romance to the games that brings back the joy of the boy i used to be - and still am inside...
last night was another magical moment in what has been a run that has invigorated a city. if you're a baseball fan, you've heard about the numbers and the streak by now - and if you're not, you could probably care less. and while the exploits of professional athletes probably shouldn't bear so much on our collective psyche, there's something about this team, this run, that creates new romance. it doesn't just drum up memories of days gone by, but invokes real joy in the moment. it actually feels like we're living in a movie script, and in the next moment robert redford's going to bust out the floodlights with an impossible hit...
i was lucky enough to go to the game last night with my brother and experience a moment that i knew i'd never experience again. the sheer joy of that place, the improbability of this team's run, knowing that this is the only time we'll be able to experience the first time - it made all those other things that i worry about melt away in the moment. and while we hear a lot about sports' ills and cheating and unruly fans, it's moments like these (and this moment has lasted an entire month) that make you realize why sports capture us. to believe in the impossible, and to watch it unfold in front of your eyes, is something you can't describe. you just have to ride the ride until it ends...
my only regret is that ian isn't old enough to understand what this is all about. because i'd like nothing more than for him to look back when he's my age and remember that romantic and magical run, this epitome of a team - and believe in the unbridled joy of youth...
go rockies. no matter what happens next, you've reignited that belief in a whole lot of souls...
the contractor cleaned up and cleared out early last week. framing and drywall complete, and the house ready for my projects. new floors. kitchen cabinet-hanging. painting. trim work. seemingly endless projects - but it beats the heck out of the seemingly endless mess that we'd been living in for 6 weeks...
the floor project began last sunday. i opted to install new wood floors over the existing hardwoods for a couple reasons. 1) the existing hardwoods are nearly a hundred years old and worse for the wear - and in half the house are covered in a layer of tar used to glue down yet another wood floor. and 2) the deal i got on the new hardwoods was just barely more than the cost to refinish the existing floors - with about 5% of the mess...
so sunday, monday, wednesday and thursday nights were floor installation. thankfully and graciously, my brother jeff was there each of those nights to help - which made the work go more quickly and much less painfully. by the end of the evening thursday, we'd managed to complete the floors in the kitchen, living room and dining room. i've still got another half of the house to do, but the renewed availability of those rooms to once again live in has been emotionally uplifting...
progress photos taken from the living room towards the dining room and kitchen
on friday and saturday (again, with jeff's help), the kitchen cabinets went in. i'd never installed cabinets, and was actually surpised by the ease of the process. that is, until you're forced to deal with 95-year old brick walls and sloped floors. it took us several tries to master the connection of the cabinets to the brick exterior wall and - with some sometimes-substantial shimming - the cabinets are all in place...
kitchen cabinets in place
finally, on sunday my uncle came to build a template for my countertops. this uncle runs a home remodelling business, and in partnership with a friend just started a concrete countertop company. as one of his first projects, i'm getting a great deal on a concrete countertop - which will go great with the design character of the kitchen. the countertop will take a couple weeks to fabricate, but i can finally see the end to this kitchen-less existence that we've been living with for nearly 2 months now...
and all that happened in the course of a week. at some point on saturday afternoon i realized that between work on the house and work on, well, work - i hadn't taken time to stop during that week. but seeing everything come together, and finally having the chance to do things with my own hands, has been so rewarding that i don't want to stop. except i know that i'll have to slow down a bit... my body and the rest of my life can't possibly keep up with this pace.
next steps: choosing paint colors, finishing the floors, and trim work.
what was supposed to be done by september 14th is only now exhibiting any illumination at the end of a very long tunnel. the contractor - who is certainly not trying to get away with anything, but seriously needs to consider a partner - finally, today, got a room to the point that i have some hope for the near-term use of my house. granted, that's one of four rooms. but a room is a room. and it's all i've had since the day he began work...
it's been a tough month here. since the kitchen, living room and dining room are out of commission, ian and i have been living mostly out of my room (which has served as the temporary kitchen-slash-living room-slash-dining room). ian's room is still in operation, but it's separated from the remainder of the living space by a cloud of pervasive dust. the bathroom? that's where we wash the dishes - our skeleton crew of eating equipment - every single day because of the mess. ian's been a trooper... it doesn't seem to bother him. but for me - it's knocked me down a rung or two both physically and mentally...
the good news? there is a light. i'll take friday off and, after a major cleaning of the living and dining room, start to put down the new hardwoods that will eventually overtake the whole house. i may even manage to get the kitchen floored over the weekend. within the next couple weeks, i should have walls painted and cabinets in and (dare i say) kitchen-stuff put away for the first time in two months. not to mention, as early as next week, furniture. in. my. living. room. (after, of course, a thorough steam-cleaning)...
pictures will come soon. i just want to have an after - and, well, i'm still waiting for the after.
on another note, i'm feeling some need to make a declaration of intent ala bold, just so i have something to hold myself accountable to. because as my mood has gone through this renovation mess, so has my desire to train...
on monday morning, the contractor began work.
monday was labor day, and when his bid came in and he named a start date of labor day - well, i asked if he was sure. he said yes, so i scurried to get all that i could moved out of the four rooms that would see demo and cover all the larger items that wouldn't fit elsewhere. besides that, i had to close off the three remaining rooms that we will have to live in for the life of this project - ian's room, the bathroom (which doubles as dish-washing station), and my bedroom (which also serves as kitchen and living room for the time being)...
the contractor was to show up at 9:00 on monday morning, and when 9:15 rolled around i started to worry. outwardly, i'm not really a big worrier. but on the insides, the worry can turn me upside-down... and since i'm perpetually on-time, the worries begin early and grow exponentially with each minute. by 9:20 i'd tried both his cell phone and home phone and when neither was answered i managed to jump to the conclusion that he'd taken my 50% deposit and moved to montana. by 9:25 i was dealing with the loss and recovering it in my head with personal labor. and when he called at 9:30 to let me know that he was at home depot ordering the materials and had left his phone in the car... well, i felt a little silly. so i waited until he made it here, and then went and celebrated by buying a new tree...
(yes - i know that sounds random. but tree-buying, trust me, is not a random occurence for me.)
today was the wrap-up day for demo... mostly because the very large dumpster sitting in my front yard is set to go to the landfill tomorrow. the lathe and plaster removal turned out to be exactly the project that i hired someone for - meaning, rather than deal with the mess myself, i could hire a contractor to do the job and deal with the mess while i work (dust-free) at my job that will pay for his work. of course, the living here isn't so dust-free - but with some heavy-duty plastic sheeting and a staple gun, life can be manageable...
i really don't have much story beyond that. the demo is done, and framing begins tomorrow. i've got some exposed 95-year old studs (which look so much better than the studs you can buy today), lots of electrical in lines running in conduit (we don't do that any more in residential building), and some exposed (for the time-being) brick that almost makes me want to take the rest of the plaster down. almost.
this is essentially the same shot as the before from the last post, with the arch in the foreground and the missing yellow wall non-existent in the background
while this shot better shows the extent of the demo
and, so as not to be deemed lazy while the inside work is happening, i tore out some unsightly (to me) shrubs from in front of my house - to make way for said purchased-tree...
before
blurry after
and i've made it back. sadly, there isn't anything to report on the training side of things lately. i've made it to the gym fairly regularly, but no races to set goals for (except for the race for the cure in a month - but you can't really have a goal when you're running with 50,000 other people). which is all just fine with me, since i've got another little project that will be taking the bulk of my time and energy over the coming months...
a few weeks ago, i closed on my new house. this was a necessary step in moving things in my life along for many reasons. selling my former house got me out of the financial burden that remained in the settlement of my split with k - a major relief. but the ensuing renting experience made the summer a rough one emotionally. luckily, after just a few months i was able to find a house in a great neighborhood with friends closeby, and for a really good deal...
the house, though. the house is old (built in 1911) and has great bones. but it's going to require some work to get to the point that it feels like it's "my house." the kitchen is amazingly small. the walls and trim have seen their share of wear. the former owner made some questionable painting decisions. and the bathroom - oh... the bathroom. the only room in the house that has a ceiling fan. in the bathroom, you ask? yes - in the bathroom...
i've got big plans in place, starting with the kitchen and easing into the public rooms of the house. before i moved in, i ordered new cabinets and appliances for the kitchen, knowing that if i had the goods i'd be more inclined to start the work right away. i've also ordered new wood floors for the whole house to replace the tired hardwoods that are in today. it's going to be some work for some time, but i'm certainly not afraid of a little sweat equity - and i can't wait to make this place feel like home.
last weekend, my brothers and i began the demolition with the destruction of the kitchen...
(pre-move-in and post destruction photos above)
tomorrow, a contractor begins work on several projects, including:
so this may be the end of foolish epidemic. i'm not sure it's the release that i need, and i'm certain it's not the information that anyone else wants. it's not that there isn't anything going on - it's more like there's a ton going on, yet it all seems either so very un-blog-able or un-blog-worthy. i've met some incredible people through this site - but to be honest, i've made those connections through people and not the internet...
sometimes i find myself a little disappointed that i've never really felt at home in the vast blog world. i'm too often disappointed in the words that get published. and i find that i'm apologizing more than posting lately. and none of that bodes well for the dunce-capped guy at the top of the screen...
so it feels like the end. and while i'll keep tabs on all those whom i follow every day - it may just happen through an ip address in your site stats from here. just know that i'm still around, and i'm still listening to those whose friendships i've made through this feeble attempt at blogging...
so i have to give some serious shout-out apologies to a lot (okay, a few) people out there in blog land. i can be so lame...
to stronger, my darling sister, because we haven't spoken in a couple weeks, yet she has this thing coming up that will change the state of her life;
to greenfish, because i couldn't make her triathlon today - although i'm incredibly proud of her for competing in tri #3 after signing up only 2.5 weeks ago;
to all you tribloggers who just rocked the triple bypass this weekend. yes, i live in this beautiful, more-than-3-mountain-passes state, and i neglected to offer my local support. i do regretfully offer my weekend with the boy and a flat tire as an excuse;
to curlysu for being a terrible commenter and email friend while you're stuck with a bunch of non-tri musicians in vermont:
and to all of those who get here through another site and click on through because there isn't anything remotely up-to-date or interesting here... my sincere apologies.
in the end, they say, everything happens for a reason.
a few months ago, i wasn't very keen on this adage. i'd just gone through four months of trying to sell my house - with countless showings, endless hours of picking up and making sure everything was in its place, the uncertainty of why my house wasn't getting the bite. that followed quickly with three offers in two days, each frustratingly lower than asking price. which followed with a painful resolution of concerns raised by the inspection (these on a house not yet three years old) that wasn't resolved until 9 days before closing...
i'd also just gone through a painful attempt at buying a new house. beginning with an initial offer on a property that turned out - through inspection - to be a bit of a lemon. followed by a signed contract on a place just around the corner for slightly more but with more interesting character and less front door traffic. and finally ending when, the day after the resolution on the sale of my house was complete (and a mere 8 days before our scheduled closing), it was revealed that the sellers lender wouldn't let the sale of the house go through... seeing as he owed significantly more than i was contracted to pay for the house.
which left me a week to find ian and i a place to live.
so i settled on a rental. determined that my sanity needed a break from real estate.
and then a friend of mine told me about a house doors away from his, and an owner who was interested in selling but hadn't gone through the realtor channels, and a rumored asking price that was, well, a bargain...
so a couple weeks ago i left a note in mailbox for the owner. a week later i was looking at the house and making an offer that was satisfying to her and a deal i couldn't refuse. this weekend we signed a contract. and today, after posting an ad for the rental i'm in right now on craigslist just last night, i got a committment to take over my lease from the first person to look at this house.
and while just months ago i was bemoaning my bad luck, it seems things have turned around. we'll be in a great neighborhood near good friends. across the street from a beautiful old grade school, mere blocks from one of the best neighborhood retail districts in the city, and living again in our own place with our own garden and our own front porch facing a future that again holds the promise that some certainty brings...
... i offer the following photographic evidence for your viewing pleasure.
sunday marked my one-year triathlon anniversary. and with it, a repeat performance of the event that introduced me to what will certainly be many years of triathlon.
leading up to last year's 5430 sprint triathlon at the boulder reservior, i was a well-trained tri newbie - meaning, i had trained but really had no sense of what i was training for. i'd spent the previous 6 months preparing for the event - running and swimming and (occassionally) riding the bike - and was in the best shape i'd been in since my collegiate crew days. this year - not so much...
for no good reason, i've been slacking on the training since - well, since the steamboat tri last august. i'm struggling to get myself to do real, consistent training - and when i have, i've concentrated primarily on running. swimming has been a bust: besides a couple late-winter pool swims, my only time in the water leading up to sunday was at wildflower. and save for a ride last weekend with carrie and my dad, my only bike time since september was also at wildflower. i haven't had the committment to training, and i have only myself to blame. and after sunday, that is going to change...
the swim. 750 meters. no big deal, i thought. i made it through double that at wildflower and felt surprisingly great. and i remembered my wetsuit this time. i positioned myself about four rows back in my wave, hoping to stay clear of the mass of flailing limbs that call the swim the worst leg of the event. the start, though, was ugly. sun in my eyes and bodies in every single direction, i struggled to find any rhythm for the first 200 meters or so. and in struggling to find any rhythm, i spent so much energy that - by the turn - i was gasping for air and doing far too much breaststroke. thankfully, about the same time i began passing a few swim caps from the previous wave, giving me a little more motivation to get out of the water. the good news: as opposed to last year, i was able to run out of the water to transistion (about 100m). and, at 15:59,i carved about 30 seconds off last year's swim time - good for a top 1/3 time in the race.
the bike. i actually thought the bike felt okay, although okay for me is a very far cry from the majority of cyclists in this event. boulder is a cycling mecca, and for whatever reason i haven't learned the "it's all about the bike" lesson pontificated by bolder. i simply cannot fathom how quickly some of those people can move on two wheels. and then there's me. i think i passed, literally, 2 people on the entire 17 mile bike course - and couldn't even venture a guess to the mass of bike-humanity that passed me. in the end, though, the bike was awful. to the tune of 3 1/2 minutes slower than last year awful. a measely 17-point-something miles an hour. and 2 seconds under an hour altogether - good for the bottom 20% in the race. i know now that i can't continue to ignore the bike in training...
the run. the run was my chance to redeem myself after last year, when i had to walk several times. i have some trouble with the transition from bike to run in guaging my speed. what feels like a slow plodding pace is actually a pretty brisk one, and i end up killing myself at the beginning. and that's why i have a garmin - to know where i am and control my speed and save energy for the middle and end. of course, in two of the previous three tris, i've forgotten to transition to the run with garmin in-hand. not this time, though, and this saved me. my goal for the run was to do the run - without walking, except through the aid stations in order to encourage the actual drinking of the water. goal accomplished. and that led to a minute and a half improvement over last year - 24:58, 8:02/mile pace. good for top 1/4 in the race.
overall, the bike killed me. i came in 30 seconds off last year's time. and i'm not satisfied with that. i can hang my hat on some improvement in the swim and a good run. but i'm motivated now to get my butt out there and improve. no more slacking, no more excuses. i'll never be a podium finisher, but i can climb my own personal ladder.
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there was some good to the race, though. the people. carrie and the kids came to cheer us on, which i appreciate so much - it means a ton to have someone cheering you during the race and at the finish. and david came along with his boys to spectate and cheer as well. of course, the venerable bolder was there at the finish (after smokin' me on the course), and i had the pleasure of meeting and chatting with sascha and trishannon as well. i continue to be impressed with the quality of the people in the tri-blog community - this is a genuinely great group of personalities. and i appreciate the opportunities to tag along...
it's been a quiet week around here. primarily because my computer at home crashed, and crashed hard. now, there's not a ton of critical, life-changing information on that hard drive. but it does hold all of the photos that i've taken on ian in the past 2 years, as well as my entire itunes library. if it's unrecoverable, at least i turned most of the good ian photos into albums and i can always re-burn the cds. but still. grrr...
on the training side of things, this weekend is the boulder sprint triathlon. last year at this time i was preparing for this race as well, but it was my first tri and i was nervous as hell. i'd yet to do an open water swim, i had no idea what to expect from transitions, and i'd never done a real bike-to-run shift (i'd gone from stationary bike to treadmill at the gym once, but i was about to find out that it wasn't the same as the real thing). i was proud when i finished, even though i had to walk during portions of the run and my swim wasn't exactly the recipe for victory. it was an accomplishment for me at the time...
this time around, there are no pre-race jitters - at least not yet. because i know i can do it. i know what to expect. i'm looking forward to the race, looking forward to a sunday swim and wearing the proper attire and better nutrition (although i am nowhere near having a handle on that aspect of triathlon). i'm just not nervous. and i guess that comes with practice and experience.
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speaking of proper attire, last night's run was - ummm - not my proudest moment. i got home from work ready to do one of the 6-mile loops around the neighborhood - a loop that begins running down the center of a shady parkway and along neighborhood streets for the first 3 miles followed by a loop around the park for the second half. i got my running gear out, put my shorts on, and decided to try running with the ipod for the first time (i haven't tried to run with the ipod because i wasn't sure if the earbuds would stay in). apparently i got distracted by the ipod get-up...
i saw several people along the run over the first couple miles, some who looked at me a little strangely. i didn't think anything of it - after all, i was lost in my music and trying to straighten out what felt like an awkward gait. at about mile 2.5, though, i looked down at my shoulder as i was adjusting the ipod strap and realized there was a sleeve there. except the shirt i had pulled out was sleeveless. which brought me to the embarassed realization that i'd never changed my shirt - and that i'd run 2.5 miles along city streets and past other runners and dog walkers wearing the same collared polo that i'd worn to work that day...
feeling like the world's largest dork, i stopped to take the shirt off, tucked it into my shorts, and completed the run. the only redeeming point that i managed to figure out my fashion mistake before i made it to the park and the height of passing traffic. thankfully, the run was much better than the attire. reminder to self - do not wear a collared shirt to the race on sunday...
a few weeks ago, i complained that my house felt like less than a home - due, of all things, to paint color (and if you knew your way around the left hemisphere of my brain, you'd understand). so, due the careful planning of carrie, who managed to coax my family into helping me here while she introduced trijack to altitude, i managed to get two rooms painted two weekends ago. which significantly altered my mental state in this place. however, there still existed what was certainly the bane of my sanity here - ian's room...
(apologies to the celebrity blogger crew who has heard this story in great complaintant detail (and who i'm very lucky to have shared dinner with on sunday night.))
the chore for this past weekend was to paint ian's room. a chore i was dreading to no end, because it required a number of painting stages, of which i enjoy exactly zero. you see, the paint job we moved into in his room was worst combination paint nightmares one could imagine (okay - perhaps an exaggeration, but the point remains). a bright orange color, mottled and incredibly splotchy - covering every surface except for the floor. which meant priming everything - priming which nearly made me pass out in the small room with little air circulation. followed by two coats of paint on all the wall surface. followed by the taping of the freshly painted walls to prep for the trim painting. followed by two - and sometimes three coats of white paint on the trim and doors.
all told, the painting required the bulk of the weekend. but it's complete - and the only recovery i needed was the look on ian's face and the joy in his giggle when saw his new blue room. a room that no longer looks like a scary place to walk in to. and a room that makes this house feel more like a home...
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on a different note, if you haven't had the pleasure of meeting and spending some time with them, this post and this post tell you all you need to know about the kind of genuine people bolder and curly su are. i consider myself lucky to have had the opportunity to get to know each of them.
i have been accused at times of making decisions quickly. some may think too quickly. but what people don't understand is that into the decisions i make go weeks and months and years of internal contemplation.
seriously. my friends and family joke that i change cars like most change socks. and yes - i've gone through some vehicles in the last few years. but an auto loan is an auto loan - and the likelihood of me hanging on to a particular car for the term of a loan is, in a word, unlikely. so changing cars is not a life-changing decision. and recently it has been a checkbook-saving decision. but people don't get that.
i'll admit. i do tend to make decisions seemingly - what's the best word for this - abruptly. but that's because most of the things i have to decide upon these days are things that impact me and me alone. i'll buy a couch on what seems like a whim to some. but these decisions are hardly made on a whim. because i think about things for a long time before i even realize that i'm thinking about them. i weigh the big decisions - whether or not to spend the money, the time, or the effort - for a long time and almost completely internally. because at this point in my life, these are internal decisions...
and then when i've decided to do something, i do it quick. i know what i like, and it isn't hard for me to choose from the options. and to some, this may seem frivolous. but i am not frivolous. i am deliberate and contemplative. and i am responsible...
and in the spirit of frivolity and deliberateness and contemplation - i've signed up for the vancouver triathlon on september 3. yes, i made the decision quickly. but i've been needing a vacation for a long time. this one's for me...
thanks to trijack and sascha for the late-season event suggestions. i've spent some time tonite on trimapper.com (which has turned out to be a very useful site), and i'm looking at one of the following:
- the vancouver tri in september
- the montreal tri, also in september - or -
- the chicago tri in late-august
not sure i can get into chicago at this point - they've closed on-line registration, and i'm not sure i want to chance not getting in with mail-in. i'd love to go to either vancouver or montreal. or chicago, for that matter. i have friends moving to chi-town, and could couple the tri with a longer stay there... or i could go see a couple canadian cities that have been on my list of places to visit. or i could do nothing and sit on my butt at home...
and opinions from my vast and decidedly-wise readership?
some minor tweaks to the site today. an upgrade to blogger layouts, which makes surfing through my paltry archives more efficient. the use of one of the google reader widgets (the use of which i attribute to curlysu's technical savvy) that allows me to easily point to some interesting reads without actually cutting and pasting a link to a real post (hence allowing me to be even more lazy) - see "noteworthy posts" over there on the sidebar. a font change. heck, i even added a link for the first time in a while - i am perhaps the last bloggist (i don't feel worthy of decribing myself as a blogger) not using bloglines. yet some things remain the same. the same perhaps-confusing header image and tag line (just a product of my enigmatic mind - not a reference to any song or movie as some may have thought). the same stark-white background. and the same sense of not-very-witty self-deprecation...
on a very different note, i'm after some help from the tri community out there. it seems my event schedule doesn't look beyond june 17th of this year - although i'm still contemplating a repeat performance of the boulder backroads half-marathon this fall. i'm thinking of perhaps maybe considering another out-of-state race - preferrably late-summer to fall, olympic-tri or half-marathon, and vacation-like north american destination - but being a relative newcomer, i'm not particularly familiar with the relative merits of the many events out there. so, if any of you out there in blogland have any suggestions - i'm game.
i remember thinking about the bolder boulder many times in previous years, and thinking - that 10k sounds like a long race. must be something to get through it. so i guess it says a lot about where i've come in the last year and a half as a runner and an athlete that today's race never felt like a big deal... just another sunday morning run.
this was actually the first 10k race i've done. yes, i wrapped wildflower up with a 10k and did a half-marathon last fall, but this was my first 10k. and because it was my first, i didn't have a qualifying time to enter for the qualified-time waves - which meant i went with other non-qualified types in a wave well behind all the other blogger types out there today. seriously, no sand-bagging intended bold...
the day was warm, the sun intense, i failed to wear a hat and didn't drink enough water. but it was a good run. i felt pretty good in spite of my continued lack of training (i really have to turn this training rut around). and unlike bolder, i ran faster than my estimated time - although to be fair, i estimated 7 full minutes slower. maybe there's something to be said about low expectation!
for the record, i finished (unofficially) in 51:17, which is about 3 minutes slower than a time that i would really be happy with. so i've got my work cut out for me this summer. at least i have a point of departure - and a qualifying time for next year's run..
tonite has been a tough night for me. ian and i just got home from a going-away party. a party for friends - for a family - who have meant so much to me over the last 9 years...
i first met kathy in october of 1998. i was in grad school and had just landed a great internship. she and her husband greg had just moved to colorado fresh off a year in australia working on the venues for the summer olympics. kathy and i got along, but we weren't close at first - although i respected her from the moment i met her.
fast-forward a couple years. when my boss left our former place of employment and started his own firm, kathy and i were the first to join him, and did on the same day. she and i lived through a lot of work before she left the office a couple years ago...
but my friendship with kathy and greg so far surpasses that. they were two of the few that i still keep in touch with who were at my wedding. kathy is (literally) responsible for my addiction to gardening. kathy and greg were always an integral part of the supper club that we had going for a while. kathy was my lunch companion for years. they were the ultimate dog-sitters, and picked up our pup the night that ian was born (and, hence, were the first to know that ian was on his way into this world). they were there when we buried blu. and they were the first (and only) i called when i discovered k's cheating. for nine years, kathy and greg have been by my side through good and bad...
and now they leave. they're going home - within spitting distance of both families, and armed with some adorable twins. i'd be the biggest, most inconsiderate jerk if i didn't support them. of course i do. they need this. and i've been bracing for this for a while, but still...
for me, this sucks. two people who have been by my side through all the good and the pain of the last 9 years - they're leaving. i've gotten used to people close to me going away, but this is different. because kathy and greg - they are part of me. they are part of that community that i wrote about in my last post. that community that is small and shrinking...
as i wept tonite as we drove away from the party, ian asked me if i was sad. yes, sweetie, i am sad. i'm not, daddy - he said. because he knows only happy times spent with them. and through my child's eyes i realized what we need to hold on to. the happiness of times spent with good friends. because we're not given an infinite amount of time, we have to cherish the times that we have...
since i moved into my new place several weeks ago, i've been struggling to make it feel like mine. this is a great house with lots of little quirks that also needs plenty of work - except the work that i'd really like to do is more than cosmetic. and since i made the unexpected decision to rent again (after a painful house-selling and aborted-house-buying experience), i'm not exactly at liberty to make more-than-cosmetic changes...
i did get the landlord's okay to do some minor work to the garden and paint the interior of the house. and given my spring-induced need to garden, well - that's been completed. a couple new shrubs, a bunch of new perennials, and the house has a new street presence. unfortuntaley, this is colorado and i'll be long gone before anything has grown to any reasonable maturity. but at least i got to get my hands in the soil...
as for the painting... i'm having a bit more difficult timing motivating myself for that task. yet this house really needs some attention. ian's partially-orange, partially primer-white bedroom is screaming for some attention. the crap-brown living room needs some love. the neon-yellow dining room isn't exactly matching my decor. and the stark off-white kitchen leaves my appetite longing for something more, well, appetizing.
the thing is, i already have the paint. a nice golden rod color (light on the golden, heavy on the rod) has been chosen for the living room. a nice slate blue for the dining room, and a very-boy sky blue for ian's room. and a sage-green for the kitchen. all mixed, purchased, and sitting in the basement.
meanwhile, i just can't bring myself to tape off the trim, move the furniture, and paint. all my framed photos and artwork sit on the floor, waiting for a home on freshly-painted walls. i cringe every time i enter poor ian's room and see the patchwork paint job. and i stay away from cooking in the kitchen because it begs not to be cooked in...
one of these weekends - maybe even weeknights - i'm going to get my butt in gear and start taping. because i know that once i start i'll finish quickly and feel much more at home in this temporary house.
the thing about living in colorado, we've got some tri-blogger celebrities 'round here. and because i happen to be related to one of them, i occassionally have the pleasure of mingling with some of those celebrities. like say, for instance, bolder. it's almost enough to make one part of the entourage...
carrie and bolder came to town and decided to meet at my house, since i conveniently live a couple doors from city park and a nice, shady, 5k+ loop. we managed two loops, with was huge for me. still recovering from the onset of allergy season, i'd been mostly unsuccessful on my solitary runs this week - barely able to make it through 3 miles on friday. but tonite, with the company and conversation and pace of our favorite bloggers, i felt strong throughout the 10k. and that bodes well, considering we've all got this little race next weekend. i think i'm learning that running is much more enjoyable when i've got someone to run with. just need to get out and recruit...
today is the birthday of one of my favorite people in the whole entire world. please, go leave her some comment love and encourage her to get back on the blog train. happy birthday greenfish!
feeling a little better today, and beginning to panic because the bolder boulder 10k is just two weeks away and i've got all of three outdoor miles under my belt this year at altitude - i decided to test a new run in the new neighborhood tonite. i'm rarely one to challenge a cold with intensive exercise, but i thought it made more sense today to get out and run rather than rest my lungs for some indeterminant amount of time. plus, we had a nice cloud cover - and that's been rare around here lately...
last year when i ran outside (and trust me, there was nothing before last year), i'd run from work on one of the bike/rec trails denver is known for. this usually worked best for me, since i'd get on the trail right after work, run for 4 or 6 or 8 miles, and head home to relax. now, though, i live two doors from city park (a 3.25 mile loop) and the 17th avenue parkway. i'd tested (badly) the park loop the night before leaving for wildflower, so decided to do the parkway this time...
perhaps because i have the mind of an engineer, i like runs where i can count off the distance using my surroundings - and this out-and-back route was perfect for me. short blocks, moving in alphabetical pairs, a through q. i like to know where i am and exactly how far i have to go when i'm running (i'm still trying to get to the point where running is actually enjoyable - not sure i'll ever manage that!), so this was like a dream...
i should say, that part of the run was like a dream. the rest - not so much. almost immediately, i felt the burning pain of my lungs letting me know that they were not - in no uncertain terms - happy with this heavy breathing thing. my legs felt heavy, and i plodded along at a pace that was well below what i expect of myself. of course, i have those expectations based on a healthy body and the real training of last season. there were a couple good parts, too - i had negative splits and convinced myself to tack on an extra half-mile on the out (also known as "the next stoplight") - and i'm certainly happy i got out and didn't let this cold deny me yet another opportunity to run on a beautiful colorado day.
the coming week is my opportunity to get some miles done in preparation for the bolder boulder, and i'm convicing myself here - in front of this incredibly vast and wise readership (hello carrie - sorry it's so lonely in the foolish epidemic fan club) - that i need to take advantage. if i don't have three good runs minimum in my legs by this time next week, i should be strung up and forced to listen to wayne newton on repeat...
i was determined to get to training in earnest this weekend, since the coming month is pretty race-intensive and the only training under my belt is freakin' wildflower. i've got the boulder bolder 10k (with carrie and bolder) on memorial day weekend, and then the 5430 sprint triathlon (again with bolder) three weeks later.
of course, as seems to be the rule in 2007, my body has again conspired against me. i came home from CA to a little boy with a runny nose that soon morphed into a nasty cough, and yesterday it hit me - and hit me hard. phlegm-coated throat, sore and scratchy throat, same nasty cough. and zero energy.
i'm not afraid of self-medicating (at least of the over-the-counter variety), and i'm obsessive about the use of robitussin, tylenol cold, and dayquil to fight off every cold. this time is no different - except i may be more determined to let the low-strength chemicals do their work. i need to get better, because i'm sick and tired (no pun intended) of having an excuse not to train...
with no other races scheduled after june 17 (not yet, at least), this is the time for me to push myself. i just hope my body will allow that to happen...
i finished.
(does that count as a race report?)
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on easter sunday, i was at dinner with family when something hit me. i'd been stressed about wildflower coming up because (for a number of excuses) i hadn't managed to do any training for it. and by no training, i mean i'd run a total of about 40 miles in 2007, had accumulated about 3000 meters on the swimming meter since august, and hadn't put my feet on bike pedals since late summer. i still planned on making the trip in support of carrie, and to make myself take some time away from all that's been going on - but it hit me that i didn't need to do the race. they could have my $130. it wasn't worth the stress. the relief at coming to that realization lifted a huge weight...
a week before the race, i still was planning on not competing. i still hadn't made any time to train and i didn't think my body could possibly make the triathlon happen - especially considering the rumorred course difficulty. but slowly i came to realize that the likelihood of staying out of the water might be difficult. i thought - i'll bring the bike and my gear, and if i feel like giving it a shot... well, the worst that could happen is that i wouldn't finish, right?
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carrie and i hit the road late-afternoon on thursday, excited for the road trip and a chance to catch up on all the family and blog-land gossip. the first five hours went by in a flash (primarily because we had a lot to chat about), and we managed to coincide an empty gas tank with the first town we'd seen in what seemed like 3 hours. after dinner at denny's, it was back in the car for the remaining 5 hours to las vegas. it had been 12 years since i'd been in vegas - which also happened to be at 2:00 in the morning. this time, though, carrie and i blew through 20 bucks apiece before calling it a night...
with plenty of rest, we left vegas late friday morning - looking forward to the five hours left on our trip and sun to see the natural beauty of the nevada/western-california landscape. unfortunately, nothing about that five hours of natural beauty had any merit. five hours became seven, natural beauty became stark, dry, and perpetually gusty moonscape. and chris became grumpy. but we found the race venue, hooked up with the tri-blogger alliance folks, and set in for a wonderful weekend...
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my wave went off at 9:40 on sunday morning. and i went with it. my expectations were low... i knew i'd make it out of the water one way or another, but also knew the bike course was a bear. and because the half-ironman competitors from the day before had described the merits of the run course in great detail (and not very meritoriously), i figured there may be a real possibility that i wouldn't finish. but i intended to give it all that i had, and remind myself why we need to find time to train...
the swim went remarkably well, considering the intense preparation i'd done. i even managed the same pace as the two tris i did last summer, each shorter than the wildflower olympic distance. sighting wasn't a big issue, i only swallowed a couple gulps of lake water. and i had the energy to run out of the water to transition...
and then there was the bike. the first mile - all climb, and not a small one. i'll admit - i didn't make it all the way up... i had to dismount and walk the last 200 meters. not riding the bike for 8 months - maybe not a good strategy for wildflower, in case you were considering it. the bike course was a terrain-packed out-and-back, with lots of granny-gear climbs and fast descents... and while i didn't break any records (okay, i finished in the bottom 25% on the ride), i didn't have to dismount again and i made it back to transition in one piece...
all that was left was the run. i knew the run was mostly uphill for the first 5 miles, with the last mile all downhill (covering the entire climb that we'd done to begin the bike), but i didn't anticipate just what i was getting into. there were hills, to be sure, and then there were hills. i had decided early-on that i didn't have to run the entire course, and it made me enjoy the run that much more. where the hills got the best of me, i simply let them. and even through the walking, i still managed to finish the 10k in under an hour... not something i'd ever be okay with, but in this case it was about finishing. and when i heard my name coming down the finishers' chute, i felt a sense of pride. not in the quality of my performance, but in the knowledge that i had made it. with no training. on that course. my first olympic distance tri under my belt...
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after a shower and packing up our camp site, carrie and i hit the road - both of us anxious to get back home to our waiting kids. 17 hours in the car immediately after a race is perhaps not highly recommended, but we made it. after a whirlwind weekend, meeting a bunch of new and welcoming people, 2500 miles in the car - and a mile in the water, 24 on the bike, and 6 on our feet. it was an experience i won't forget, and don't plan to replicate (well, at least the driving part).
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at the end of the day, this is what i'll take away from wildflower:
tomorrow, i leave on the first real road trip i've been on since college.
back in the day, road trips were the norm. see, i was on the crew team in college. at the university of colorado. yes, we had a rowing team at old cu. in the middle of the high desert. problem was - we were it in the rocky mountain region, meaning every regatta we competed in meant a long road trip...
thers's something about putting college kids behind the wheel and in charge of tens of thousands of dollars of equipment and dozens of lives. but at the time, that's the only way we could operate. we were a club sport (actually, we didn't even have that level of funding) and if we wanted to go anywhere, we had to go it alone. so we drove, hundreds (or thousands) of miles, through the night. to places like des moines. and waco. madison. manhattan (kansas). wichita and kansas city. austin. sacramento.
we were never supposed to be competitive. i joined the team in it's second semester of life, when we literally had only a 30-year old donated wrecked shell (that's "boat" to you non-rowers) that weighed three times what our competitors were racing in, about a dozen rowers... and a whole lot of passion for what - to most of us - was a brand new sport. in my first race, we lost our skeg and never found our balance - but we never gave up, either in that race or for the next three years. and by the time i graduated, we had boats that medalled in both the midwest and western rowing championships. and while almost every other division 1 team was bussing or flying their athletes to races, we were driving ourselves...
and now tomorrow, we drive ourselves again. i don't think carrie understands why this is okay to me. i mean, who wants to drive 17 hours when there are perfectly good flying machines navigating the air space that could get us there in a fraction of the time? but this trip is a reminder of my past. of the days when you went to a race because it was there - and it matterred little where "there" was. of the days when vacation meant packing a big cooler, making fresh mix tapes, and driving to a race with the people that have trained for the same goal... that out of town race.
and perhaps i haven't exactly trained for wildflower... but i'm going to do it (i'll at least *start* it). but more importantly for me, i'm going to roadtrip with my sister to a starting line and a group of people who feel about this race like i did when i was 22 heading to the middle of kansas, and feel - finally - again.
i look forward to seeing all of you cyber-space triathletes at the lake. safe travels...
tomorrow, a 15 month old is laid to rest.
a good friend of mine lost her daughter on friday morning. two little girls lost a baby sister, and a father lost his love. there was no warning. during the course of the night, the toddler went from playing with her sister to a horrible, inexplicable fate...
it's impossible to find the words to describe the sorrow that i feel for this family. the worst fear a parent could realize. i can't begin to guess how many times i've crept into ian's room late at night, leaning in close - anxious for the sound of a breath. the instinct of protection is inate, and there's no greater fear in my heart than the inability to protect my son. knowing that my friends are experiencing that most basic fear breaks my heart, and leaves me helpless to console.
i know tomorrow's funeral is going to be incredibly difficult to bear. seeing parents say goodbye to their little girl, not being able to fathom the sense of grief and loss that they are experiencing. and realizing that - no matter how protective we may try to be as parents and no matter how intensely (or intently) we love them - we can't control everything... their fate at times belongs to something even larger than we are.
it's been pointed out to me that's it's been a bit since i last posted. and here i'm thinking - it hasn't even been four months yet... what could possibly happen in my life in four months to write about?
i'll give 'em this... a few things have gone down. small things. like i finally sold my house. (does my contracting on a new house, cancelling that contract, contracting on another new house, planning the remodel, discovering that the seller owes much, much more than i was paying and - ergo - his bank refused the sale one week before closing, count as news? nah...)
oh, and i moved into a new house. (do i mention that - given the homelessness threat of aforementioned sale falling though - i had to scramble to find a rental for ian and myself given that one week is a::little too little time to find and close on a new house?)
and then there's this triathlon i'm supposed to do next weekend. (it's called wildflower. somewhere in california - you may have heard of it. i signed up in december, and then came january and february and march and april, and an extended cold and a move and a whole lot of stress and a decision to back out of the race... except that, thanks to my sister'sgentle urging, i won't be able to not compete.)
and then there's this consideration i like to call bealms. (but that's not even a real word, so how interesting could that be?)
i suppose there could be something interesting about my ex-wife's most recent decision (more than parentheses involved there) and my new rug (deep, plush shag) to talk about... but i can save those stories for another day. and really - i am hoping there's another day. because i do need this outlet - and i think it's become a deeper need than the living vicariously through all your lives that i've been doing...
i think i'm back. at least, i hope i am...
