parenting 101...

i know i owe a story about my son and his behavior. but i don't have the energy to put together the clever story that i had in mind about the little boy nearing two and a half years old who is learning to test his boundaries. about a dozen two year olds spending the day together teaching one-another how to kick and to spit and to tackle and to generally not listen to authority. about a teacher who seems under-equipped to handle this two-year old self-teaching and about a mother (and ex-wife) who wants to blame everyone else for her son's new-found aggression rather than accept that our precious little boy could be anything but perfect. and about a dad who is trying to maintain realistic expectations about how children grow and learn, how they need both discipline and patience from their parents, and how to take responsibility for his son's behavior without having wildly high expectations of a two-year old trying to discover his personality. so, instead i'll just give you the quick version:

- ian has displayed some aggressiveness at school lately, including "tackling" and kicking and general boyishness.
- ian's mom can't believe that ian could either a) be aggressive or b) be the only aggressor in the class so she c) freaks out about the aggression and d) blames the teacher and the other children for it.
- i try to maintain a level head, knowing that little boys will be little boys while trying to instill in ian some lessons about proper behavior. like the it's-never-okay-to-kick-a-little-girl-in-the-head lesson. and the spitting-is-only-for-toothpaste-and-only-in-the-sink lesson.

i'm not going to let myself be one of those parents who blames others for his child's indiscretions. i'm also not going to over-react to bouts of uncharacteristic behavior from my son. i just hope his mom and his teacher and the parents of the other students have my back on this one. because i fear i could become the only one with realistic expectations.

up until now, it's been relatively easy raising a well-mannered child in a sheltered environment. but now he's learning to test his boundaries among others who are doing the same, and i have to begin relying on others to do their own little part. and that loss of control is a little discomforting. now is when i learn what kind of parent i'm going to be...

i'm not worried about others disappointing me. i worry about disappointing myself...