two years old and starting from scratch

today is my son's second birthday. big day for him - he doubled his age for the only time in his life. big day for me - a single dad raising an amazing little boy with a spirited and stubborn mind of his own. he's two. and we're starting from scratch...

today we went to the zoo. my son and i, for his birthday. ian saw elephants. and penguins. he saw beautifully colored birds that flew close enough to his head to brush his hair. and mountain goats so far away as to appear as stones on a rocky slope. he saw a matronly gorilla with her weeks-old baby and a hippo with its teenage child. he saw sea lions and penguins playfully swimming and lions and zebras basking in the sun.

today marks a new day in my life, too. it marks the first milestone in ian's life since his mom and i split up. it's a bittersweet day, because it begins a new year for our son, but a year that is defined by mom or dad rather than mom and dad. and while this is the right thing for all of us, i never wanted my son to go through what i've known for my entire life...

after the zoo, i took ian to pick out his birthday present. he slept in the car, and in my arms as i extracted him from the car seat. but as soon as we stepped into the store he was as alert as he's ever been. at first he gravitated to the hula hoops (not quite hippy enough yet, kiddo), and then it was the sandbox toys. but ultimately he chose a bright red fire truck. with an operable ladder and self-propulsion. he loves that fire truck. its his new favorite toy. at least until tomorrow...

as for today, this is our new start. a year of changes - some will be big, some will be small. but all will impact the lives of these two boys. navigating through this new year that defines us both. starting from scratch...